stuffparty:erinmargrethe:xntrek:In case you were wondering what to buy me for my birthday … among the collection of other haunted dolls available:

*plays with herself violently

*screams crude comments and lies when guests are over

*tries poking things in any orifice while you’re trying to sleep

*positions herself in provocative poses with her bloomers down

*often stinks of cheap whiskey and sex

If that doll isn’t all that it’s promised to be, I’ll be wanting my money back.