Things have taken a turn for the worst

worms live inside my belly 

There’s a split in my mind

Sometimes I feel like I’m just observing myself commit actions or do things or say things. It’s like I’m watching a television show. I’m in the background eating popcorn and thinking “Did I really just do that? Wow, what an interesting plot twist. I didn’t think that character was capable of that.”

“You are still the one with the stone and the sling,
Man of my time. You were in the cockpit,
With the malevolent wings, the meridians of death,
-I have seen you - in the chariot of fire, at the gallows,
At the wheels of torture. I have seen you: it was you,
With your exact science set on extermination,
Without love, without Christ. You have killed again,
As always, as your fathers killed,
as the animals killed that saw you for the first time.
And this blood smells as on the day
When one brother told the other brother:
“Let us go into the fields.” And that echo, chill, tenacious,
Has reached down to you, within your day.
Forgot, O sons, the clouds of blood
Risen from the earth, forget your fathers:
Their tombs sink down in ashes,
Black birds, the wind, cover their heart.”
—Uomo del mio Tempo - Salvatore Quasimodo (translation) 

These days are ruination days 
Parched

One thing I’ve learned is that people are not very resourceful. You give someone something that they’ve been asking for and they quit asking. Don’t you know where the watering hole is? Why don’t you return to the place it was before? These people are so easily quenched. I’m so fucking parched, I don’t even sizzle when I hit the water. Their loss. My shame. 

hah a rare vision… ready for a nighttime swim and buddha beer

phone broken

don’t know how to describe other than Forrest Gump?

I think I’ll go home now. 

“I prefer the people who eat off the bare earth the delirium from which they were born
I mean the Tarahumara eating Peyote off the ground
while they are born,
and who kill the sun to establish the kingdom of black night,
and who smash the cross so that the spaces of spaces can never again meet and cross.”
—Antonin Artaud
“To exist one need only let oneself be,
but to live,
one must be someone,
to be someone,
one must have a BONE,
not be afraid to show the bone,
and to lose the meat in the process.”
—Antonin Artaud
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